Tuesday, November 30, 2010

A Return of Symptoms?

Well, it has been 24 days since I last took an antibiotic of any kind. For probably a couple of weeks nows, I have been having some vague leg aches but have been trying very hard to ignore them and haven't mentioned them to anyone. Somehow I hoped that if I didn't verbalize them, then they wouldn't be real and they would just go away.

It's been hard to know for sure because the weather has been so weird as well .... rainy then cold then pretty again, so was just hoping it was an arthritic thing. However, it is the leg weakness and return of some muscle twitching that have me concerned again.

Last evening I began having a constant muscle twitch / spasm on my inner thigh muscle ... just to the right and above my left knee. It was so strong and continuous that my husband and I could both just lie there and watch it. It remained that way sporadically up until bedtime. My legs were quite achy as well. Today, my legs have felt weak and achy all day and it nearly killed me to bend over the tub and bathe my small dog this evening. I know that I am obviously in poor physical condition but this was ridiculous! Now, since bathing my dog, my legs feel so much weaker and I can just tell that tonight in bed will probably be bad.

Tomorrow was to be my next LLMD appointment ... the first since stopping my antibiotics but I cancelled my appointment! I just cannot deal with this right now ... right before Christmas! I knew he would most likely put me back on meds and because I have volunteered to host my hubby's family Christmas at our house this year, I cannot risk being sick and herxing during this time! It's not like a few more weeks off the meds will make a huge difference anyway.

As I am sitting here, my calf muscles in my left leg are twitching. *sigh* I was SO hoping I was done with all of this! :'(

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Day 10 - NO MEDS ... update

This is the 10th day that I have been completely medicine-free. I have been feeling great! The reason I am posting today though, is because I am getting a bit nervous. Last night at bedtime, I was a bit achy in my shins and calves again. I'm not sure if it was because of some things that I have done the past few days ... we did some painting and I also rode my horse a little while ... or if I am having a return of symptoms. I have also noticed some mild twitching again. This morning while sitting at my desk, my legs feel a bit weak again and I've had some twitching. I am SO scared that my Lyme and Co symptoms are coming back!!! I SOOOO want to be over all of this! :(

I guess time will tell.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Off ALL Meds .... for now!

Well, I heard back from my LLMD's office today. His nurse returned my call and told me that Dr. K. agreed to my stopping ALL MEDS right now except for my pro-biotic! I am more than happy to do just that!!! There is no guarantee that I am "done with" Lyme or Co-infections at all but I am willing to take a break and just see what happens! I know that my stomach will be very happy about this as well!

I will continue to blog and document any symptoms that I feel may be a continuance or reoccurance of Lyme and Co.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Nausea + Panic Attacks = ER visit

Last night was the final straw in tolerance for me. Feeling more nauseated and having major panic attacks throughout the day has taken its toll. Also, losing weight more everyday (though normally would be a great thing) was adding to my worries. Finally told hubby I wanted to go to the ER and have my liver checked! Because I have been on heavy long-term doses of Rifampin and it is known to cause liver dysfunction, I felt that I needed to be checked out.

Well, after 5 hours in the ER ... 4 sticks due to dehydration to finally get an IV of fluids and nausea medicine in me ... my labwork came back fine! Liver enzymes were fine! Came home with a script for Zofran and was told to double up on my Protonix that I take nightly for reflux. I will begin taking one in the morning in addition to the one at bedtime.

Still woke up with a panic attack one hour after falling asleep (even with the nausea meds in me) and had difficulty sleeping all night again. Today was better for most of the day though I did get several periods of waves of anxiety and nausea but now I am really leaning toward all of this being hormonal in nature!

I had an endometrial thermal ablation four years ago and haven't had a period since then. Back when I did menstruate, I had panic attacks around my cycle fluctuations. Things seemed to really calm down after my surgery since my severe cramps and excessive bleedings were gone. For years now, I don't even think about my cycle anymore as it is rarely obvious to me except for tender breasts now and then. So ... I looked up the signs / symptoms of perimenopause and there are 35 of them. YEP, and I have / am experiencing MOST of them. Night sweats, panic attacks, rapid heartbeat, moodiness, depression ... GI disturbances ,..... etc.! I'm thinking that my 46 year old female body is the cause for these latest issues!

Although I don't enjoy them, just knowing that something NORMAL is occurring for once is such a relief!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

ANXIETY ..... I can't stand it anymore!!!

I have been having anxiety for the past couple of weeks and it has gotten increasingly worse the past few days. Today, I have been anxious all day! I finally "gave in" and took just 1/2 of a .5mg Xanax .... laid down to take a nap and woke up with a panic attack one hour later (the same time I always awaken with a PA). I am coming unglued! I cannot handle these feelings anymore. They make me feel sick to my stomach and just nervous and scared and like I'm losing my mind. GOD, please make this go away!!! I just want to stop all treatments and be normal again!!! :'(

Friday, November 5, 2010

Day 13 - Tinidazole Pulse (w/ Rifampin)

Almost done with my 2nd week of this pulse of Tinidazole. Still taking the Rifampin with it as well. Main symptoms are still restless legs at bedtime and although I do get a few odd aches and pains, they are not enough to really call a herx at this time. I walked again for 25 minutes this morning on my treadmill and I have been lifting 5 lb. weights the past couple of days to try and strengthen my legs and arms. My achiness has mostly been from the exercise as far as I can tell!

The main thing that is REALLY bothering me, is that I have extreme anxiety! I feel nervous, anxious and SCARED all the time. It gets progressively worse throughout the day and by evening I am about to come unglued! I am trying so hard to not take my Xanax ... and so far haven't given in but it sure is an extremely uncomfortable feeling that can bring me to tears. I don't know if it is a side effect of the Rifampin but it does seem to be worse the past week or so since I've been pulsing Tinidazole.

Another very annoying thing is I have a bad, metallic taste in my mouth. It really messes up trying to enjoy eating and leaves such a nasty aftertaste. Just adds insult to injury! :(

I am so tired of this disease!!!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Day 10 - Tinidazole Pulse

Today my legs have been achy ... my left leg especially! I had to drive to town to vote and then to take hubby to lunch and my leg was killing me! Not sure if this is a herx from the Tinidazole or what.

Last night after supper, I had some slight nausea and indigestion .... but also discovered my blood sugar was quite high which does cause that as well. Went to bed but awoke as always about one hour past falling asleep with a bad panic attack. I had even taken 1/2 of a Xanax before bedtime. :(

Tonight, I am feeling a bit anxious again as supper is in the oven and not too sure if I want to eat or not. I'm so sick of being sick and always having to guess whether or not to eat or not and what illness is causing what symptom! :[